with her its the mind over matter factor, i dont mind and she dont matter
I bet farrah fawcett is having words with michael jackson in heaven for stealing her thunder
just won a stolen shopping cart in a dance off in a parking lot.
the only time i'm productive on weed is when i drink.
Can't show you right now as we are in public and he refuses to let me photograph his penis in a bar.
Of course he did. He is like the oprah winfrey for vaginas. Always giving that shit away.
I'm obsessing over hocus pocus right now. What if I change my Grindr profile to "come little children, I'll take thee away to a land of enchantment"
I have a fever. Last thing I need to do tonight is be elbow deep in old lady pussy.
I just spent 12 consecutive hours in the same outfit and none of it was pajamas. If that's not personal growth, I don't know what is.
I wasn't even hungover I was just mourning my dignity
i sent him a nude and he responded 6 hours later
what did he say?
"oh m god,,, whow '!!!!nm"
He's ruined me. Do you know how frustrating it is to know I'll never find another guy as tall and handsome and rich with as big of lips & booty, and cock as him who also rims and takes me on tropical vacations and buys me all the cocaine.
Dude, I just feel great. I love life so much and I love you. Love. Love. So much love.
Listen, i know this is weird for you, but as your fuck buddy, id prefer if you didnt fuck her.
Youre asking too much from me
Trouble in the neighborhood - turns out my brother's summer lawn care gig also entailed banging three different MILFs and they just all found out about each other
Gotta pay for college somehow...
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