Awww my brother is growing up soo fast!! He just gave me the, "I know you're high but I won't tell mom n dad" look!
he quoted cool runnings while we were having sex: feel the rythm,feel the rhyme, get on up, its bobsled time
I asked him where the store BJ's was and he unzipped his pants.
You kept telling the cops that our ice luge was practice for the next winter olympics
Remember the girl passed out in front of my fireplace?
No, the real question is if you drink like I drink why WOULDN'T you wear a cape.
Got some good news and bad news about the hayride this weekend.
The good news is its still on, the bad news is we don't have any hay. The best news, if you drink enough you won't give a fuck that its just a trailer.
fat people need to stop using the handicapped bathroom stall so I can have sex in it. it's common logic
I feel strange, like something is off with my body
Yeah that's called sobering up, we've been drunk for the past 4 days
He has what he calls a "Ben Franklin". It's a pubic hairdo based on the man himself; long on the sides and bald in the middle.
When we tried to make a video I set the camera to 3sec pictures accidentally so instead of a movie we have a flipbook of our sex.
cops tried arresting me on the way to class this morning.. this is my life.
My VP dropped me off at the Strip Club in Houston. Just said "I was never here".
but I truly enjoy making out with my best friend more than my boyfriend
Woke up with champagne in my hair and honey mustard on my hands. Strangely, I'm okau with this
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