Did you ever notice that cashews look like fetuses?
i had a dream that i had so much marijuana that i didn't know what to do with it. i woke up and cried.
The required reading for this week is a paper about birds called great tits. Let's see my TA keep a straight face through this discussion.
Well hey if hot cowboys are involved then all bets are off.
These pubs in Ireland act like hand jobs aren't the universal currency
He wore my sunglasses on his honeymoon..... so there's that.
im eating mac and cheese with a makeup brush. there is wayyyyy too much wrong with this night.
Obviously. I'm here to let you eat things off my boobs and help you get laid.
After I'd been making out with her for a good 15 minutes some guy yelled "grab this chicks beer she needs both hands!" And he was right I did need both: god bless jello wrestling.
you said you couldn't hang because you had to masturbate and feed your lizard
Well then she has to know whoever you were kissing was in overalls because that's not a detail you just leave out.
At dinner her sister yelled "he fucked me AND mom!! Up your standards hoe!!" Safe to say I ruined that family
Yes. I masterbate to Harry Potter. It's what our generation does.
MY LIFE IS HARD OK. I HAVE TO WAKE UP AT LIKE 10 OR 11 AFTER SMOKIG POT AND PLAYING FALLOUT UNTIL 3
my dad just built a flame thrower.. you should probably get here
Randomize
