if i wake u up at 5am tmrw by coming into ur room wearing nothing but my indiana jones hat and purple socks while singing 'courtesy of the red white + blue' will u be pleased or annoyed
keep in mind this isn't open to negotiation, i'm just trying to gauge ur reaction
dude. i was so high. i watched shrek in russian.
At a straight bar and poker face just came on...must...resist....urge to gay it up
Why would that come on at a straight bar? I thought they just played Don't Stop Believin and Wonderwall on repeat
am i the only one who has tried sucking their own cock????
What's the name of that girl you hooked up with? The one that looks like the fire hose sign.
How do you not remember seeing the kid from our chem lab table and repeatedly yelling "lab partners for life!" at him?
ya i guess you have to take things with a grain of salt in a place where nipple clamps are the norm..
It'll just be like "PENIS HERE". In case you get lost.
i swear, you were born with a blunt in one hand and somebody else's wallet in the other.
I lied. Can't workout today. Only exercises I'm currently capable of doing are breathing ones to keep last night's drinks ending up all over the classroom.
Literally sitting on my bed in the dark trying not to throw up
Watching the blind side bc I need a good cry to make sure I'm still human after this weekend's questionable life choices
So, I'm either with my future life partner or my future life taker. And his brother. lol. I'll let you know when I get home alive.
You're a problem for me, dick game too good. In the future when I'm with someone I actually wanna to date, now I'm gonna compare.
I forget, are we banging TA’s for grades this semester or not?
Depends on how cute he is
Randomize
