he confessed his love for me, threw up on my pillow and then fell asleep on said pillow. i met him last night.
better than last weekend. things are really looking up for you.
I just cleaned my sheets and decided to do a black light test. My headboard is a masterpiece.
I was surprised he admitted he couldnt keep up. We both knew but usually they dont come out and say it
This was just another one of those days you wished you had a penis-size indicator instead of wasting your time isn't it?
i would have thought, that you two being my best friends, one of you would have atleast tried to catch me before i hit the ground after blacking out.
Bring beers. The password is "I brought beers" but you can't come in if you're a liar
She's got a butler. A fucking butler. Shes like batman, but with a better ass.
Another reason why I like dubstep now, it makes me feel even higher than I already am.
It was all fun and games until he noticed the hickey that he hadn't given me...
He woke me up, handed me a ringing phone and said break up w her for me. That hung over.
So what did you do since you didn't go out?
...ate chocolate and watched bring it on....it's like I don't even know what it would look like to be straight.
I was jerking him off and in two seconds he went from "oh yeah that feels good" to "what day is Thanksgiving again?" and then back again. Like wtf.
i was so high when i left this morning that rather than make sandwiches i threw bread and peanut butter in my backpack. a whole loaf. and a whole jar
How high are you rn
Well I just ate a cheesecake straight from the box with a fork and now I’m laying upside down in a recliner chair seeing if I can Uber eats Doritos
So not that high
You left your phone here
Wait...
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