my periods are so regular now that they are sync-ed with my subscriptions of vogue.
My cousin just told me i smelled good. She must like the smell of cum.
whore
Totally about to meet up with Ryan in an empty parking lot. Expect to fuck him. Yes I know it's 3am. Slutty? Possibly. Excited? Damn right.
dude chill. we stole 18 hamburgers from her house
no. you cant fuck a burger.
Dude sorry but it totally wasn't worth going back in there for yous shoes
If the boyfriend of the drunk girl you just met asks her if she made a "special friend" you're going to have a threesome. For future reference.
He just fingered me to the Lion King soundtrack. And when he left he turned dramatically and said "I'll be back after work. Be prepared." Taint ALL the childhood memories.
We convinced the Dj to let us play musical chairs...... I won by the way.
Its like her house is inhabited by 50 year old lesbian water color artists with a throw pillow fetish
Don't get me wrong, the sex itself is amazing, but I don't think I will EVER get used to her habit of singing lines Jesus christ super star when she is about to cum.
My legs r really sober for running now
I don't think that's how sobriety works.
I only want to come over for sex and blueberry pancakes
I need a fuck buddy with more available hours
I was in the rappers prayer circle. Then they're blunt circle
Just saw the pics from the bachelor party. When the hell did we go to southie. And why was there a chicken in the limo..? You guys really are my best friends.
Randomize
