what, no i told him that it wasnt nessesary to put all 5 fingers in my vagina
I just spent my lunch hour driving around campus yelling "TRADE LIVES WITH ME!" to all the freshmen moving in
I think I should just go up to him and say, "before I invest time in this could I just take a look at your penis?"
I mean, there was frosting being put on a tunafish sandwich. Pretty sure she knew we were high.
Just got convinced to trip sit for a pack of cigarettes and a burrito. Let the games begin
He is currently tell his hat to go free. Like he has it sitting on the table just waiting for it to take off. When he's not looking I'm gonna throw it off the balcony and tell him it's flying
Such a good question, let's ask the alcohol gods for the answer.
The weed is temporarily burning the grammar section of my brain library.
Well Apparently I went to piss out my window last night, woulda been ok if I opened the window or the blinds.
She makes margaritas with lemon-lime 5 hour energy..thats brilliant
and you were wondering how she got into Harvard
My boss followed me on Twitter. Excuse me while I delete 90% of my tweets
He makes balloon animals that get you high? Hell yeah invite him over!
Who the fuck just called me and played funkytown
My ex gave me head because she said she didn't enough when we were dating... Best ex ever? I think yes.
I admit I fucked your best friend, but to be fair, you fucked the tristate area. So there's a good chance about 40% of those people are MY friends.
I can’t believe the first text I’m sending you from this phone was about how I just got fingered in a smart car on tin can hill
Randomize
