You're mentally unstable and I would hate to be you
I'm too scared of my Fleshlight to even use it anyway.
is it bad if i hope guys are like edward cullen and can read my mind. i could be a whore in disguise.
Just chased the kids into the backyard with kitchen knives. Best. Babysitters. Ever.
I go to guys houses late at night, have a little fun, come back by dawn having made their life a little bit better. I am the official blow job fairy.
She asked how far humans have gone into a volcano because they did in spy kids. She was serious.
he sounded really stupid. it was like his puke had a stutter, too.
I just had to explain to my 62 year old advisor what "tea-bagging" was in the middle of her lecture. I smell extra credit. And maybe a demonstration.
When I said to shut up, I meant it. I'm sorry you have a bald spot now, but it was necessary.
Say hello to your nephew Sir Isaac Meriwether van Catsworth
I'm going to have to start taking your phone after ten. That's when all the cat pictures come
can anyone on this campus do anything sober?
I want to go to a gay rodeo for my cross country road trip. It'll be like my very own homo country boy pilgrimage to the holy land.
You know those twins i had a crush on in grade school? Just woke up between them. Best. Party. EVER.
I was 100% done.. I used my vibrator while eating cold pizza. Shit was magical.
I refuse to fake an orgasm. If I'm dating him, he better work for that shit.
Randomize
