Jerry, you need to find god
she needs to go suck a dildo, because she isn't worth a dick
it was like she was tryin to eat my face and i was defending myself with my mouth
Her boobs were tiny. I could have used her bra as a blind fold. Which in hindsight would have made things a lot better.
The lack of pants and amount of productivity in my life right now is amazing.
You broke a cabinet. You were climbing up it and it collapsed on you. Lines were crossed.
I hope I take a shit on your face in your dreams tonight.
I'm sexting at the thanksgiving dinner table...this is a new holiday tradition.
I have a big to do list for you. Number 1 - me. Number 2 - drink wine 3. Talk my ears off. 4. Me again
I just wanna get hammered somewhere crazy. Meet some chicks. Bang them and then go scuba diving.
I think we ended 5-7 relationships as well this weekend...so another good stat
I don't think I used nearly enough fucks in my reply to convey the level of fuck him.
I would steal a car if I knew it had wheat thins in it
is it necessary to steal the whole car?
Looks like a sea otter shaved my vagina. Keep an eye out for me this weekend, no one can see this.
Everytime after he came, he'd laugh uncontrolably for ten mintutes. He was sober..
Randomize
