I'm making progress with her.. She actually looked at me today and gave me a dirty look. Things are going real good.
all i need in life is blowjobs and white cheddar cheezits
I took a picture of his ID so i could remember how to spell his last name and facebook stalk him later...I think he saw me do it
Do you ever just think "I could really go for a good 30 minute blowjob". I do. Everytime jill smiles.
with your vagina and my liver, anything is possible
You know whats not fun? Making yourself throw up on a sand dune at 4 in the morning.
Dude I walked in to my house just to be handed a bottle of vodka by my sister. She then said i had 15 minutes to finish it. Moving into my parents place is the best choice I have made this year.
Chris threw beer can at guy. Guy ended up being a fighter. Chris got his eye socket broke. Fighter got hand re-broke. Chris is passed out. Fighter is in kellys bed. everybody won last night. I think.
You'd think, but when you nail one sorority sister, you might as well have nailed them all.
I want a bottle of whiskey to be dropped at my doorstep like a stork drops babies when they are delivered to their parents.
God what have you done to be that much in need of alcohol.
Me WANTS my preciousssssssssss
He sent me a pic stitch collage of all the tit pics I had sexted him this month. It was so sweet!
Burnt my boob on a piece of hot waffle at work today..I feel like thats a new low point in my career..
What happens if you die with an erection? Does it stay hard? Disclaimer: I'm high.
Stories. There's stories.
MEGHAN YOU'VE BEEN THERE FOR 20 MINUTES
it was the most awkward makeout ever. it was record breaking really
...i feel like you have a lot of those.
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