You'll be proud of me
Who did you not have sex with
Damn it...you know me too well
So far we've hooked up on a pool table, on a public bathroom counter and now in a little league baseball dugout. We haven't even made to a house yet.
The last time you said "no one will know" is when you ran out of sprite at your birthday party and dumped a handle of straight up vodka into the jungle juice.
It was like the perfect storm of bad decisions.
Ahhh sometimes you just need a thermos of whiskey in the library
I haven't gotten it in awhile but since spring break is next week I'm willing to have a pregnancy scare if it means no bleeding through the suit
Yeah wouldn't want it to interfere with beach sex. Nothing should interfere with beach sex
This is what we get for YOLOing our way to obesity
Lest we forget our veterans. Also that two years ago I lost my virginity on this day in a hot tub. Go me for being the worst person on earth.
No one likes a giant penis on their phone screen. I mean cmon. I'm a lady.
Everyone is now just referring to it as "the night Hannah couldn't get laid" so needless to say you didn't miss much
Did I seriously kick a door down last night... And if so when where and how hard, cause that shit I do not recall.
I never actually go in the club. I get in line, hit on a chick, and convince her to come drink all she wants for free at my house.
We should try to put a bagel on your penis
I was mad at him...then I jerked off. Now I'm over it. Orgasms fix everything, I swear.
havent showered in 2 days. just Febrezed my balls in the car before going into a movie alone with a 40 of Guinness.there isn't a word in English for how single I am.
Randomize
