I just ate a cockroach and I want to be a fire truck.
she offered me iced tea and went to go change.then her dad came in the door.i thought i was on how to catch a predator.
I am about to be in my happy place. (the shower with a 6 pack)
he was chasing shots of soco with fistfuls of my birthday cake
Oh i know my limit. 9 shots after i've given blood.
its simple. when his lips are on my clitoris i want to marry him. when they are speaking i want to kill him.
She compares her life to Teen Mom. She's 28.
It's not a real holiday until someone pees on you. Did someone pee on you?
I'm scared to touch anything in this apartment. Even the ceiling.
The whole time we were hanging out my vagina was yelling at me like its a real live penis that wants to have sex with us what are you doing
Somehow she talked me into getting my dick pierced, weird first date.
I can't feel the bottom half of my face but i feel like our sex would be amazing
I don't know what's worse. The fact that my biological mother is an unwitting bigamist, or the fact that my half sister is trying to seduce my girlfriend.
Nice. Ask if they watched saved by the bell. yes=legal. No=jailbait
BOOOOOOOOOOOO *takes away your hoe card*
Randomize
