Weren't you self-described as an 'arab' slut?
No?
Well my cheeks are red now
I unwillingly was the ball between four hungry hippos last night. I thought the one chick was actually going to eat me
She never called back. Financed a fleshlight.
No. No, there is no forgiveness for this. The only way I'm forgiving you for this is if you somehow convince your sister to have sex with me. In her car.
I have a meeting at work in an hour, I'm so hungover going outside is NOT happening there are roads and shit I'll totally get myself killed.
They drank shots out of my cleavage. Surprisingly, the one who did the best was a gay guy.
I've said it before and I'll say it again: your tits are a danger to gay men everywhere.
so the x-ray technician didnt buy my story of falling off a curb. she said a fall of that height couldnt snap the bone that way. bitch called me a drunken idiot too. if she wasnt so hot i'd be angry
looking at my texts from you makes me want to throw up in my pants
I gotta shower this stuff off me I'm starting to hear baby kittens in the toilet tank again..
Gay bathhouses. They're actually a thing. So god does exist. And he doesn't hate me as much as you think he does
Is the mullet a good, great, or horrible idea before we leave for college
I told her to to let go of her rationtal thoughts and just enjoy the fact that i was going down on her till she passed out from sheer orgasmic pleasure.
Ps I took your recycling out, the 9 champagne bottles, vodka bottle, and tequila bottle is how I knew it was yours
Bitch got stabbed in the eye. With a fork. Wait for it... At church. I was the only one at a party interested in her story. Only in the south
I mean...if Marco gets pregnant, it is either the spawn of Satan or the second coming of Christ (neither of which I want in my life). So let's just hope that he doesn't grow a womb and that we don't have to consider either option.
Randomize
