PS - I'm in bed with an 18 yr old-am I a cougar?
No - puma.
David Carradine died? Should I be thinking about this 10 min before my interview?
Haha just ref him when they ask a questin about kung fu which they will since ur Asian
i just sold a bong and some oregano to fifth graders for sixty dollars. doing something tonight?
i just made mint juleps with bourbon and fresh breath strips. i am the macgyver of alcohol.
i just uploaded pictures of my nephew, and you & d puking in the same toilet. i think i should keep them in the same album. show my nephew what he has to look forward to.
Have you been tested recently?
Well I got my shots when I was a baby so I think I'm immune
She just did a bodyshot off herself. I don't care that it's only seven thirty, come pick her up.
She was stumbling around looking for her cat. She said i could help, but i had to call him by his jungle name
he was definitely TRYING to give me herpes.
Sober now. I'm really glad I didn't try to make out with that guy who has a pregnant fiance
My g-ma saw your dick-pic and wants you to know I've got a keeper. She says her big whopper died in Korea. Good thing g-pa is still asleep.
I mean you would really have to try to not have fun at a party that doesn't require pants....
I found a loose wire in my thermostat. Couldn't find the pliers, so I used a nipple clamp to fix it.
I mean metaphorically. Literally zombies have yet to invade. Let's be rational here.
I'd kiss your neck and collarbone and then run my tongue up your neck to just behind your ear
And then lightly kick the curve inside your ear
Randomize
