It feels like he gave my taint an indian burn.
At some point I made a semi-conscious decision that i was okay with sleeping in my own vomit.
You only like me because I'm a challenge
You already blew me
I did the walk of shame to church this morning.
hooker boots and all?
Yep. People looked at me like I was the prodigal daughter returning home. Full of sins but welcome anyway.
She put baby oil on her toes and i am not legally allowed to talk about what happened
I wish i could 80s montage me losing weight
im really going to miss that car, so many blow jobs...
some fat dude with wolverine facial hair just walked out of your room with a snuggie. explanation needed.
Oh, and I'm only keeping her around till spring. Doing the hunt for cunt is too tough in 12" of snow.
CONGRATULATIONS! You have won: pictures of my nipples!
i made the walk of shame wearing her booty shorts that said juicy on the back. i'm still counting it as a good night
He offered to take my unemployed self out for drinks, but I really just want him to buy me the Beyoncé album
HOW DO YOU FORGET TO FINISH WINE
There's just something so liberating about drinking a beer with no pants on
I mean, I want you to have freaky orgasmic fun to entertain me, but I don’t want you to risk HIV or car crashes
Randomize
