i miss you so much
i miss you too
oops, did i send that to you? i meant to send it to the money you owe me
sitting in class between the roommates of the two girls i fucked over break. this feels like a bad version of wife swap
All semester I have been trying to figure out if this kid in front of me is gay. His cell phone just went off with Britney's "Circus". Case closed.
That was nice of you. Thank you for respecting the fact that I got cockblocked by a sophomore last night.
Alright, deal. Settling two drug deals before noon is what I call a productive day. I'm not even gonna go to math, I've practiced enough numbers for the day.
It's 11am on 4/20 and I'm already in urgent care.
How much morphine is too much? Keep in mind that I'm going to my graduation dinner with my parents.
Yep. My memoirs will be called "A Slore Worth Mentioning"
Tell him "come over but don't bring a flaccid dick"
Wear something tight
This guy is like Don Jon! Im over here this weekend and at least four times I've heard porn on his phone thru the bathroom door.
I woke up in someone's flat in Budapest and then got offered a free piercing before I left. Best. Hookup. Ever.
for once I'd like a one night stand where I don't meet the guys mom or wife in the morning
You know it's a good night when the word slut is imprinted on your ass and your hands smell like lube.
You're the air beneath my wings and the lookout when I pee
Is it weird that my mother is taking body shots off my gf after meeting once?
Randomize
