We all need desperate help. Maybe we should just become a group of people who walk around town and shit in peoples air vents
I'm down.
dpoing straight shots of jhameson. boys are imp ressed. i apologize
in my defence, i did try to get you to put your shirt back on, then you screamed at me to stop telling you what to do
So I walk in and he's teaching someone in London via Skype how to roll a blunt. I have new found respect for him.
I just watched in amazement as you had a full conversation about water temperature and bacteria with your pet goldfish.
No judgement. Sometimes you gotta twerk on a legends face.
I need to stop getting picked up at 3 am by my friends parents. This is the second time this week. I'm a grown man.
Mike passed out early so we kept filling his mouth with redi-whip and letting the dog lick it out, but he started getting hives so we stopped.
So I'm just casually at the grocery store when I remember that there's still a clove of garlic in my vagina
IF YOU HAVE THE CHANCE TO HIT THAT, AND YOU DON'T, I WILL FUCKING CRUCIFY YOU.
You're such a supportive sister.
he sent me a green and gold dick pic and advised me I needed to come drive the snake from Ireland.
seriously considering getting an electric blanket rather than sleeping with guys this winter for warmth.
Uber driver has left leg up on the dash and turn signal on for about a mile, there's Chipotle wrappers on the floor, but she's hot. 5 stars.
Hey did you take a shower last night at like 4am?
"ummm...." (Thinking in my head) wet towel, soaking wet hair, clean pjs on backwards... "that would make more sense then what I thought happened..."
just turned another straight guy gay. Goddamn the church must hate me
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