whats the name of the jew you used to have sex with that lives on evergreen?
be more specific...?
I thought he was gonna sex me but then he ran to my bathroom and jerked off
Facebook is asking me which Pokemon I'd be. Is there one whose only moves are gay sex and reading Adrienne Rich?
i just got drunk dialed and its 10am. clearly finals are over.
WERE YOU GOING TO TELL ME THERE WAS A LOAF OF BANANA BREAD IN THE OVEN BEFORE YOU LEFT FOR A 5 HOUR SHIFT??
Sorry I pulled the thermostat off the wall..
I walked out of the bedroom naked holding a used condom only to be greeted by half of my family. Happy birthday mom
She did my hair, then ate me out. Switching teams was an awesome decision.
I'm going to go out on a limb and say last night was a success, also the neighbors are counting down the days until we move out.
Dont care what i do tnt just as long as i get to chug a beer in somebodys face
Literally sitting on my bed in the dark trying not to throw up
Should I be flattered that she mumbled "You're the king of my face" before passing out?
Trusting in Jesus is not a viable birth control plan.
Mike fell asleep with his hand down my pants. I'm clearly an enticing person.
Dude, I just feel great. I love life so much and I love you. Love. Love. So much love.
Randomize
