How do I get over judging people who I would be exactly like if I had a boyfriend
Get a boyfriend
dude i'm inner monologue high
TRUE LIFE: my roommate is growing a bush.
better yet, TRUE LIFE: my roommates boyfriend begged her to grow a bush.
I dreamt I won the Huge Cock Championship last night. It was glorious.
Why not. Its my b-day, you're in town, I'm in town, bars are in town, and alcohol is in town. I don't see anything not good about those things.
Sorry for eating those cheese fries out of your hands last night
We had car sex in the parking lot of the dispensery while he blasted Tony Bennett. It was so fucking romantic.
I may have to steal the boat sober, but I feel that would be harder to explain.
Wednesday is my day of reflection and making my dick and balls into shapes. So i'll be pretty busy.
I'm trying to seductively eat these M&M's to let her know its on
Chasing my kid around a 30' jungle gym was not how I envisioned spending the day off work to recover from a vasectomy.
Currently on my Sunday walk of shame. Should I go to church?
My bed smells like the plague
Maybe the "i killed someone" and "tequila makes my clothes come off" comments freaked him out.
DON NOT, UNDER ANY CIRCUMSTANCES WATCH CLOWN PORN.
Randomize
