i miss vodka and anonymity. college is so rich in both. in college we are a many armed creature, lubricated with beer and sex.
HOW IN THE HELL DID YOU BLOW A .24?????
We were watching I'm a celebrity get me out of here and taking shots every time heidi said HALLELUJAH, and started spraying her hair with that stupid dry shampoo shit....and we only watched the last half hour.
Its already bleeding so dont be alarmed after you bite it
Pls stop me from telling anyone else my broken blood-vessel + splint are "climax-related" injuries.
all of your clothes are in the front law. btw..sprinklers go on in 20 minutes
So am I a slut for not remembering his name after sex last night or not recognizing him in the cafe today after he told me who he was?
I drank all the drinks. And jump off roof. Yay
My shoe was in my mailbox this morning. I can't stay sober today.
library dates and plan B? He is looking like a great catch.
I think I threw my underwear away at What-A-Burger last night.
There is a chick at the bar in a bumble bee onesie, complete with wings. Yeah, I must be back in Seattle.
If your nipples ruin my wedding photos I will kill you.
Strip clubs just aren't as fun when a man tries to drunkenly grind on you.
there are no losers in shot checkers. only winners.
Do you think he’ll fall in love with me if I tell him I have a nickname for his penis
Randomize
