Call me when you're up
Great dream, you were in it
worst. lesbian. ever. i'm not sure she knows a clit from a pencil eraser.
jack dropped his pants and said "bet u've never seen a dick this big." which was really sad cuz i had never actually seen one that small...you have like pinch it between ur thumb and pointer finger to give a HJ
Judging by the fact that my hair was glued to my head with vomit, yeah I think I couldve used a friend last night
Don't judge me. It was less weird than it sounds when we were in the moment and it was his birthday
Jus posted an album so big that it takes my manhood into question
nothing like a tattoo of a large eagle attacking a small eagle whos attacking a shark to bond to siblings together for life
It's official. The summoning powers of my vagina are unmatched by anything in this world.
I woke up at 4 am to my roomate peeing all over my clean laundry. He thought he was in the bathroom and yelled at me for being in the bathroom with him while he was peeing.
Ya I know. She's self aware though, like the terminator. Which is the best kind of crazy
I finally got out of bed at 8:30pm and my little brother informed me that I had cereal stuck to my back. I'm going to smoke a cigarette and go back to sleep.
Well. I think my red tank top is jinxed. this is now the second time it's gotten jizz on it.
Sorry I didn’t really get to say goodbye last night I was busy vomiting in your fathers front yard
Dad danced on top of the bar with me last night. And has a video of me doing a beer bong.
I just want a man in my bed on a regular basis, who cuddles, and who I can also occasionally hang out with outside of my bedroom. Is that too much to ask for?
Randomize
