I got otter pops to cool the beers, it's an all around better idea.
he doesn't drink and he's an emt - he'll be our dd for nye in exchange for a threesome tomorrow afternoon.
I really want to know why half of my kitchen floor is missing.
he grabbed my head and said "you are a horse. I am leading you to water" pushed it down and whispered "Drink."
noooo, I woke up on his pack porch and the SUN WAS RISING. I saw red lights everywhere and heard sirens so I just ran for my life.
One last question would your parents let me sleep in your bathtub for the night?
Last time I heard from you, you were double fisting strawberry milk and wine. Answer this text so I know you're still alive. Bonus points for a coherent answer.
He called himself Jesus all night but I'm not sure if that's his real name or not
He let me keep my Michael Jordan Bulls jersey on during sex.
I just want to like fall into a pit of hot wings beside a keg of yingling and eat my way to freedom
Like what did he say to his host family? The girl I causally sleep with on the weekends is coming over?! And they thought "well lets feed her dinner"
FIND ME A DICK TO RIDE THAT HOPEFULLY IS ATTACHED TO A CUTE PERSON AND NICE PERSONALITY
CHALLENGE ACCEPTED. Is it okay if I only get 2 out of 3?
The D is nonnegotable.
You went in the back with her.. And honestly I couldn't tell her neck from her tits man..
Best thing she said after I kicked her out "rugby guys have single handedly ruined my faith in men"
i just used a selfie stick to take an ass pic. i hate myself.
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