HELP! I am trapped in a douchebag ad... full of Affliction and Ed Hardy. Seriously? is he gonna leave his sunglasses on the entire 10 seconds of this encounter?
i dont know whats so great about being respectable.
I'm pretty sure she sent a group text out saying that I was the one to get with her last night and sorry to everyone who didnt make it.
Honestly it was an honor just to be nominated.
I cut my penus on the lid.
I know this may seem inappropriate, but are you gonna bring any blow to the wedding?
You guessed 7 of 8 bra sizes correctly. You're like a drunk rainman.
The pine trees are waving at me.
Put the pipe down honey.
Hi trees.
No driving. The car is spinning. I am praying for mcdonalds.
I can't believe I've come to a point in my life where sex for a birthday present is acceptable
All you need to do now is invest in a Speedo and start going door to door.
cant tell, his cock is acting like one of those inflatable arm waving things outside the market
The next time you try to drunkenly strip me in public let's make sure it's not anywhere near the daiquiri factory or a group of police officers.
I desperately wanted to wear your shirt.
I may have tried to encourage people to play a new game I invented last night. I called it Super Quarters. Like regular quarters, only using an AA medallion.
Well, that was my first dog walk of shame. Nothing says "I've got my life together" like an inside out shirt and a baggie full of dog shit.
Never let him bartend when he's tripping. He sprinkled a ton of mexican shredded cheese over a jack and coke and called in a Monterey Jack Daniels.
Randomize
