Happy hour is for amateurs. Been drunk since 1230. Fell asleep in a disney viewing of UP. Went to the roosevelt and drank more. Now im stumbling around the grove.
apparently people get pissed when you take the bag of wine out of the franzia box and put it in your purse before leaving the party
Its a sad day when your bush has a better set of hair than you do
it's ok. you also told me I can feel free to vomit on your blow dryer sometime.
You missed out on a serious adventure. Cops were called. We put a chicken in someones house.
The lifeguard told us we had to move Mike before the tide came in when he passed out.
So burnt out. Like weed hangover. And someone just fell through the ceiling outside of my class. How's your morning going?
I am going to make your legs soar from cumming so much
Like they're going to fly away?
Also I think he would slowly, painfully, die. You really can't live without a penis. You'd explode.
You may genuinely find a use for the siphon. But the bag of human hair is less likely.
How do I explain the handcuffs and tanning goggles on our living room floor? There's rope too. The cats love the rope.
I feel like i just got chewed up and shit out by a ukranian midget
On a completely unrelated note I think I have carpal tunnel
Again, totally unrelated
It's cool bro. The video I have of you drunk trying to fix it with the sonic screwdriver was worth it.
learning about efficiency and effectiveness in an administration seminar. real world application: walking across the street to the pub on break to shotgun a beer.
Randomize
