The girl I brought home was really impressed with the pile of blow you were doing while watching "Intervention."
I kinda look like a classier blonde kenny powers.
3rd rule of buttsex she must be clean and shower recently
and skipped dinner
the last thing i remember saying is "hope you like body hair"
Please please please tell me that is not a pringles container full of pee that your little brother just got a hold of.....
i can't believe you just compared my dick to leprosy
There's no winning that game with me. It's either "Can I walk home at the end of the night," or "am I throwing up trying to sleep in the front yard." Rules are irrelevant.
Come camping we have xanax and steaks
Apparently I offered the cop my Taco Bell.
Desperate times...
So we were fooling around last night and suddenly Like A Virgin popped up on his itunes
OMG haha What did he say?
He told me that if I laughed, I would have to leave.
i can't believe i helped you shave your back last night, and she still didn't sleep with you.
Seriously, I really just burned my nipple making ravioli.. I'd explain, but no reasoning makes this acceptable:/
The fact he has had a girlfriend for 5 years and they are trying to work it out isn’t going to stop me from sleeping with him. He said it himself you can’t cheat on someone you love...
sometimes i forget what nice tits i have and then i spend a month brushing my teeth naked in the front of the bathroom mirror, and i remember.
Can I come over?
Sorry I gave up dick for lent. Hit me up on Good Friday tho
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