why didn't we just drop out of school years ago and become dominatrix bitches who beat men?
I don't know but we should still do that
yeah she was being a bitch. do you remember me stealing ryan cabrerra's beer?!?!
currently pooping in a public restroom while drinking free beer. there has never been a finer line between awesome and depressing.
So should I finish watching Space Jam and then get head? Or get head while secretly watching Space Jam?
Driving by his house every hour is not stalking, it's a reconnaissance mission... How else can I confront him
I just put fruit snacks in my sangria instead of real fruit. Its like freshman year all over again..
We couldn't afford sangria freshman year. We're lucky we had fruit snacks..
No talking tonight. Just drinking and puking up memories
I WAS CONCIEVED IN THE BACK OF MY CAR. THATS HOW OLD THIS CAR IS.
...how and why.
PARENTS ARE MAGIC.
I just figured out the time exactly by how many shots and beers that I've had since this morning. I either have a terrible problem, or a great solution.
That's what jaeger bombs out of teacups will do to you.
With everyone putting up pictures of their moms on Facebook it's time to go single MILF hunting.
These cutoffs are too tight but my ass looks like Freedom
it was so good i reconsidered my staunch atheism
No feeling is better than coming home from your booty call and putting on a fresh pair of granny panties
I have a mailbox and I don't know why.
Randomize
