it was beautiful and magic like when a hot girl grabs her own tits and smiles at you
Yea...but the guy who is beating me has a ponytail. So actually, I'm the winner here.
Lindsay lohan: road to jail is on E tonight. Bring vodka we are not missing an opportunity to make a drinking game out of this
im laying here in the parking lot drinking a warm coke, prob still drunk, feeling like i need to apologize to everyone i know
The fact that when I blacked in you were sober enough to kick me out of your roommates bed makes me question our friendship.
gave him road head on the way to his grandparents house. purposely didn't let him finish, the sexual tension over turkey was indescribable.
Sooo Zach and Judd are on my porch drunk eating leaves and flowers...
I'm cutting her off I can't have my good name soiled with these kinds of shenanigans
Shit is preposterous
It's truly amazing how much porn I can get in while my phones at 1% battery life.
Finding out you're not a mother on Mother's Day >>>
I was trying to drink every time they said planned parenthood but my body isn't cut out for this.
2:34, make a wish! I wish I wasn't on acid at Planned Parenthood. What's yours?
Idk... he wears anklets.. i dont think i can get past that.
Tell me not to drink and get on ladders. I think I need the reminder.. I'm clumsy enough sober.
Did you really think putting a napkin over your head would make you giving him a bj less obvious?
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