Do you know many girls there are in gay bars waiting for me to do coke off their tits? A lot.
There's a hand-carved wooden bong in my backpack, and i really wish i could remember last night now.
She kept chasing him yelling thief, because he drank some of her drink. That was at 8, it got worse.
He just laughed at his drink laid on the floor and crawled to the bathroom
For the record, just because I'm a mess doesn't mean I don't know what I'm talking about when I give you advice. I'm way better at other people's lives.
Now he's crying and asking for 'the cameras' to come out. The one cop is laughing
I'm sorry I keep having sex wth your friends. I'm done, for real. Unless cole is interested. Other than that, I'm done.
I'm starting to think that Cosmic Steve ripped me off
Look, he's a hot korean guy with a motorcycle and a great ass. I'm gonna do head-titingly kinky shit with him.
If you think I'm not petty enough to drive to your house at 3 in the goddamn morning just to punch you, you underestimate me.
Look I'm really hungover so let's try this again. In 5 mins you're gonna call me and tell me that you're on your way with xannies, iced coffee and a back rub
Everything is fine, it's not hung over in here at all\n\n*Narrator* *but in fact everything was not fine*
Yes we can sext. I'm taking my socks off.
I’ve looked at so many mouse vaginas in the past week
He passed out while I was riding him but stayed hard long enough for me to orgasm. He definitely earned the blow job I’m going to wake him up with in the morning!
Randomize
