Is it bad to mix sunny d with vodka if i dont have any real OJ?
I've mixd ketchup with vodka before and called it a bloody mary, so, no.
He asked for his proof of insurance and he pulled out a Magnum by mistake. All of the sudden gignger was looking real good to me.
Henry's handball, Tiger Wood's Car Crash, Roger Federer losing ... That's it....I'm throwing my Gillete away
Doctor said I have sports induced asthma.
Call me old fashioned, but around here we call that "out of shape."
My mom woke me up in a bubble bath this morning.
he asked if i wanted their team name to be " Amandas angels" or " Fuk budies" either way an intermural softball team of all my hook ups from spring semester is just depressing. convenient but depressing
Gosh I haven't been pantsless in front of anyone for a while. It's time for me to pick up my game. We need a party. I need some rum.
The school security guard knows my name.... I think I'm missing some memories...
Shoot me. Oh my god shoot me. My moms ex "likes assholes"
I swear man, you fly across the country to give a boy your virginity and he suddenly thinks you like him
He fell asleep during FOREPLAY. Sober!!!
Im outta here as soon as my phone charges wtf
She left a cookie cake on my porch, and the frosting reads "I'm sorry". She left me an I'm-sorry-for-punching-you-in-the-face cake.
Let’s try it, I’ve never had a bad time with sex, tacos and beer.
I just punched myself in the vagina to prove a point. Please pray for me.
He’s got a big dick and a big ego. This could be fun
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