you kept wiggling your finger at everybody at the party telling us this is how he fingered me. you seemed pretty upset about it.
Her vagina smelled like hockey gear.
I wish i could be on x for the rest of my life.
i just saw some one pass a baby through the drive-thru window at dairy queen.
THERE IS PRACTICALLY A BEER FUCKING WATERFALL
Things got outta hand once she told me to water-board her with Patron.
you were trying to control your nosebleed while having someone hold your four loko while you drank it through a straw. all at the same time. that is commitment.
I'm so pissed my boobs hit the emergency stop button during my workout
A pack of naked men just sprinted down the street screaming in German. It's 5 AM.
Fucking her was like skydiving commando in a flightsuit made of kittens
She's barefoot and topless screaming "HERE KITTY-KITTY" at a stray cat in the ditch on the side of the highway. How do I get her back in the car?
Notice how both of our plans for hooking up with these guys involve getting them drunk?
Oh my God, we're like men but with great boobs.
He drives a tundra! Of course I fucked him. Im just saying eventually im going to need help moving and he has a nice truck. Its like thank you for later on
You can't give me tequila around boys who have girlfriends. That ain't new.
"Uno más" are officially my least favorite words in the entire Spanish language.
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