yea..i want to get out of new york for a bit too but for the love of god not to new jersey. that's like getting tired of the stripclub and getting yourself a toothless prostitute.
You were doing karaoke. Then you screamed "SHOUTOUT TO ADAM LAMBERT" and started making out with the very surprised looking guy next to you.
Your lack of a response has proven you've clearly forgotten how crazy I am.
I'm starting to second guess shaving my vagina over the kitchen sink. The lighting is so much better though.
My pussy is making all kinds of justifications that my mind would have no patience for if it was still in charge
I am convinced that after two dates and a few adult sleepovers that he still doesn't know my name.
What's sexier than showing up smelling like fast food cigarettes with a jar of moonshine in your hand
It's something I can't competently describe without making sex sounds.
My uterus is doing all sorts of karate moves to break free of my body.
Like if it it's practical for your sexual health I'm allergic to it AKA REGULAR CONDOMS
If he's gonna send me dick pics; he should at least zoom in to make it look bigger.
I can see your house from here
Get off of his fucking roof
Lets get drunk. But not too drunk that I can't work in the morning. But maybe drunk enough so we'll make out
I only spent $42 at the bar last night, it's some sort of miracle.
you do remember it was dollar beer night, right?
That answers my next five questions
Next time I think it’s a good idea to hook up with any of your wife’s family members or friends just kick me in my dick
Randomize
