i puked out the bus window last night on the way home. i remember it, but i don't remember everyone else screaming to put their windows up.
Fat chicks shouldn't bartend
I bet there is no greater pleasure in life than pistol whipping people.
Anal.
I mean, he's dancing back and forth between pathetically sad and massively fucking creepy.
seriously i just wanna be friends
pass
saturday- my day is open, my legs are not. you in?
well apparently not.
I just finished washing your number off of my chest. I'm Bryan by the way.
yup, got lost on my way to the final. maybe i should have gone to this class all semester
she definitely blew him on the riverbank, some lady floated past and said "have some pride honey", amazingly awkward
You are so lucky that drugs are going to kill you before I do.
And then he tried to clean the throw up off my pants with 409
Sorry for cyberstalking your dad.
When you get this divorce finalized we're going to mid evil times AND pirate dining adventure. We're gonna find you a couple of real men and make them joust/swashbuckle for your affection. My treat.
He was about to go in...and he fell off the bed. Ruined mood!
Listen, yo... we need to have a serious conversation about this Dollar Store toilet paper. Because if I’m going to finger someone’s ass, it’s not going to be my own.
Randomize
