don't leave me alone with all the disney princess sluts
maybe next time you shouldn't be drinking alone watching intervention at 3 am and no one would think you needed an intervention.
You just kept walking around saying "my brain is soup" then sat on the kitchen counter washing your feet. You bit the guy that tried to help you down
By the way when you were super fucked up last night, you ate cat food and tried to tell me it was healthy for you
The object of the game was to pour tequila into a sombrero and drink as much as you can before it leaked through, 'Big Papi' won.
Come over. I've made 2 dinners and so many cocktails. I'm a 50's housewife with no family.
He's doing his thing where I don't know if he's alive until three in the afternoon so idk
So apparently someone caught him as he was falling. And carried him around the rest of the night.
The feeling are messing with the penis
yeah, you could tell they werent used to the strange things that i say. they were all outright shocked when i told one guy i hoped someone kidnapped him and stretched his dickhole over a fire hydrant
Whenever someone tells me they've never met a bisexual, I feel like a majestic fucking unicorn.
i'm gonna crowd surf you onto his dick
Mike Pence got the fuck boy eyes though
This is not a test of the emergency warning system. He has broken my vagina. I repeat he has broken my vagina. Damn it was good.
And my butt misses you like the deserts miss the rain.
Randomize
