I'd wear matching sweaters with you
Sitting in class thinking wow im glad im not hungover...and then i realized im still drunk.
No, a stripper letting you buy her dinner is not the same as a girlfriend.
i woke up this morning cuddling with a 3 foot statue of Jesus. heaven here i come
answer the phone. i thought i was eating cheese but it was butter. i ate a lot of it.
Ok the fact that you know THAT phrase perfectly is terrifying. You just proved you can slut it up in mulitiple languages.
just found gum connecting my sunglasses to my floor board. you don't want to know where else it was.
We played strip Bananagrams and I won. Thank fuck I read a lot as a child.
True. I'd rather snort cocaine off a homeless guy then work on the weekend...Actually that may not be that bad.
I'm not really made for random hookups.. i'm like a swan.. i don't wanna have random swan sex. i just wanna have one swan hubby and fly around the world together and eat bread that people throw at us..
Not remembering where I left my grinder before vacation #stonerproblems
I'm currently sitting beside my brother who is taking a bath and feeding him nachos while he covers his genitals. If that's not sibling bonding then I don't know what is
My desperation for dick was off put by his anime figure collection.
I'm wearing a fleece onesie eating pop tarts on the train to work. Killing it.
I was just dry heaving outside of the Chem building when a guided tour walked by. Welcome to the Maritimes kids...
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