Considering the face that your still in jail Im gunna go with no.
First thing she said after sex was.. are you baptised by chance?
Do you think there is vodka in heaven?
you let me eat a milky way from your vagina. G is not lettin you hang out for eternity
Don't fret. That vag would have consumed a lesser man.
im so bored in class... i just made a pie graph of my favorite bars and a bar graph of my favorite pies
i had to take my roommates dildo out of her suitcase so I could use it
the suitcase or the dildo?
My mom made me chili for when I get home from the bar. Those are the standards I expect you to live up to
I think I threw my underwear away at What-A-Burger last night.
There is this threesome scene that is literally 10 minutes of straight fucking
Omg so it's educational?
I can get there in 20, one question, Drress Code? Stripper Lite (make up may require an additional 5-10 minutes), Suggestive Professor (professor Kamil's cleavage ain't got nothing on me), Daywear, Dyke (and trust me you ain't seen dyke), or Exactly What I'm Wearing Right Now. (all of the above may arrive under a coat and are subject to my level of sobriety. Which is currently like nonexistent).--xoxo you know you love me, Gossip Girl.
Girl, we were harassing people from the top of a building. I don't know how I got down, but I'm eating chocolate cake in my kitchen. Sall good yo.
It's the first weekend of the school year and I'm already selling stuff for booze. Need a microwave?
really enjoying the fact I don't remember how the staff party ended. feel like I need to shame drink today
feel at noon?
There's a difference tho. *I* drink at seven in the morning because I work graveyards. YOU drink at seven in the morning cause you're an alcoholic.
I had a threesome with my hot neighbor and his GF and by threesome I mean I heard them getting it on in their apartment and I was in my apartment with a vibrator
and I may have moaned his name loud enough that they heard me because now he won’t make eye contact
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