Don't tits with veins remind you of road maps?
You know when its a good night when you have to be reminded IHOP is a family establishment.
You got my ass fired just for knowing you
thanks for the bacon
I envy the lives of milf's kids, the little kid grabs her tits and she just laughs and says not now
Moral of the story: If you're gonna throw a glass of wine in a guy's face, don't do it in your own kitchen.
When he goes down on me, he stares me in the eyes like a shark mocking it's prey as it devours it. Plus, his beard smells like dirty gym socks. This has got to end.
Just watched a guy ride a bike off his roof into his pool. On my way to the liquor store, picking you up in 20
You kept saying you only wanted to drink until you were sleepy. You succeeded if "sleepy" means you sleepied around with 4/6 of the guys there.
IT'S A FUCKING GIANT POKEBALL MAD OUT OF TINY ROSES
I feel like we should apologize to the light saber. We were REALLY inappropriate with it last night.
There is a direct correlation between gooch size and male fertility. Science.
it's too much effort for something that isn't food.
I almost tased myself
I dont think you should own that device.
It's an awesome device. I love this device.
Then a third Canadian I didn't know showed up to the hotel room at like 3am. I let him sleep in our bed because he had pizza.
We were walking to the bar with a group of people and literally made 4 stops in people's lawns garages or random walls for him to eat me out
I've just had two stress filled days in a row , I'm just going to shower and await your penis
Randomize
