my number is 615-555-1212, <3 your favorite asshole
I just got really nervous and swallowed all of my birth control
Don't use my boy Weezy to support your whoreish tendencies.
i always forget that thursday isnt the weekend in the real world
tip of the day : never have sex with a full bladder. it WILL lead to complications and a very unhappy partner.
I don't believe these are real court rooms. They look absolutely nothing like law and order.
Just walk-of-shame'd past fifteen little girls at summer camp. Take a good look girls, I am you in twelve years.
Of course she said it wasn't that good, I don't bring my A game to pity fuck the thrice divorced girl from work
I have hit nutritional rock bottom I am spreading peanut butter on to lays potato chips
walk of shame this morning involved walking through the in-home daycare that she runs while it was full of kids. judgemental little shits. on a plus, got a juice box and a graham cracker for the walk home.
She gave me a roadie as we drove home from fireworks. People were still lighting off their displays as we drove by. I love America.
Mom is talking about dicks with her friends in the living room. I am 5 seconds away from scaling the bathroom window out of here.
This guy knew what he was doing. Most guys can't find the spot even if it shot off a flare and played a kazoo.
we had to follow your trail of clothes to find you.......
so.. he paid for my flight to vegas, took me to shows, bought my drinks and STILL rescued my drunk ass after i ditched him. i HAD to cuddle with him this morning.. fair exchange, right?!
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