he was like Britney Spears in bed.. a little chubby and too medicated to perform.
Now I have to picture Dave Letterman having sex with all these women. Im the real victim.
please tell me you remember why "7 days" is written above my bed in red marker
she tossed me in the back of the car and said "god gave u the gift of life and I wanna swallow it"
I think I just used lyrics from the Sister Sister theme song to let a guy down easy...
Is it bad if one of my goals right now is to snort blow through a licorice?
Don't answer that. It is bad.
Bro she gave me the stare. It's like she boned me with her eyes. I'm going in.
I don't feel bad about fucking old guys. That's what I want. It's what I likeeeeee.
Put down the bong. Turn off Hey Arnold. Stop calling me football head.
I love you football head
We woke up at 7:30am. We got a 30 rack, yelled at all the freshman shackers walkin back to their dorms, played a game of beer die, and boned all before 11:00am. I found my soulmate
Well we did eat French fries lady-and-the-tramp style last night...
I just had sex with the megalodon show on in the background and it was just as magical as it sounds
We have a little not a lot. We already rolled a blunt and named him Ron.
So hungover that I might just sit in my car and wait until chipotle opens...in two hours...
yeah, but I wanna be the girl that makes him realize he's 100% gay
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