The pick up line I used was "Grab my sack, you'll be back." Then I winked at her.
she said she's never had and orgasm AND she's a cubs fan...ouch.
First of all...stop making excuses. Second of all...Fuck the surgeon generals warning
just mapquested my walk of shame from saturday..bye bye freshman 15
No. Her boobs are the one spot of warmth in my life right now and I will not let you take them from me.
I should not be in class today. For the professors sake.
I never knew so many sexual things could be done while wearing footie pajamas
But apparently I got kicked in the head by a stripper at some point
Holy. Fuck. This mans mouth is magical. I love married men. I don't have to teach them.
I almost had to fight a bird, and you know how scared I am of birds. It found that Percocet that I lost in the grass last week, I threw out my back when I launched myself at that little fucker.
Btw, if I didn't have 3 limbs in restraints and my free hand offing myself with the pocket rocket, I would have snap chatted you. Next time.
Go to the bar. Find a girl. Ask if she can cook. Tell her you have a guitar at home. Ask her if she wants to see it. Bring her home. Sleep with her. Tell her it's your birthday in the morning. Enjoy your made with lust breakfast.
Seriously I can't get a booty call for some baked goods.
He better be a good lay, these underwear cost $50.
Panties = found
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