The pick up line I used was "Grab my sack, you'll be back." Then I winked at her.
Oh and jess is gonna pee in our guest bedroom to mark her territory.
I never thought your mom would see me throwing up on my hands and knees in your front yard
Rick Santorum just suspended his campaign. Lets celebrate by watching gay pornography together.
my vagina hasn't met your boyfriend yet ... makes me sad
Whatever she smells like compost and feathers.
I believe they call that patchouli.
Everyone was in jail by 10:30. I'd say it was a successful bachelor party.
If you go to Tinseltown tonight. First bathroom on the left, second stall. Avoid. It's still coming to terms with what I did to it.
You better fucking tell me or I'm turning blow job week into go fuck yourself week.
This is the third time my roommate and I have drunkenly hooked up. I'm starting to think she's not as straight as she says she is.
So when I walked out, everyone was chanting ONE OF US, someone draped a lei over my head, and then she grabbed my ass and dragged me back into the bedroom. I'd say it was a pretty good night to lose my virginity.
Now all I want to do is stay up, drink wine, and look at dragons.
Cocaine is ok on a cleanse, right?
It's a lot harder to work after sex than it is to work drunk... just saying.
Two questions: Did you enjoy your birthday present and how did i wake up with glitter all over my dick?
Randomize
