I think the best way to start out any day is to watch 80's music videos. It's like visual wheaties.
needless to say, I hope she has to get an abortion again
DON'T BE A PUSSY. ONLY 1/3 OF THE WORDS IN YOUR LAST TEXT WERE MISSPELLED, WHICH MEANS YOU NEED 2/3 MORE SHOTS.
Its 6am and I'm sitting on the couch watching Clifford. Crying into my risotto because emily elizabeth helped the girl in the wheelchair get over her stagefright so she can win a trophy. Never drinking alone again.
I literally told her "she's a sandwich I'd like to make" and that's all it took
Was there a Canadian at your party or did I dream that?
I smell like a skunk, but I'm okay with that.
I might have pissed in the corner of someone's shed. They have nice lawn mower.
time to play the game of how much Christmas shopping I can get done before these shrooms kick in
I can never have sex in Utah again. The altitude had me breathing like a fat kid going up stairs.
I left him on his mom's lawn after he passed out in my lap and told me my vagina smells like flowers. Couple of the year award
I just lost my handcuff virginity and not in the sexy way.
Just fell down the stairs..might wanna call the ambulance jus take the weed out of my pocket be4 they come..
It was all like "my feathers evolved from scales of a reptile bitches!!" and I was all like "damn this chocolate milk is AWW SOOME!"
I love you so much and not just because your dick is perfect
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