Who do you think planted the wheat? Who do you think cleared the land and killed off the native inhabitants? Women?
hey can i play with your boom stick tonite? I'll let you shoot the love of jesus in my face.
come over
Hit a parked car with a "property of Jesus Christ" bumper sticker. Wrote out five hail mary's and left it on the windshield.
I woke up to the sound of a beer can being opened. I love him already
I knew shit got real when the pinapple was gone and people were just passing around the core and gnawing on it.
Facebook stalking a girl from Germany is harder then you think.you have to copy and paste all this shit into freetranslations.com then try and piece together an awkward sentence. If only I could put this energy into something productive.
it's too soon in the relationship to think about him when i masturbate. so i think about his dad instead.
Well I found you sipping ron diaz out of a child's dinosaur cup while sticking your fingers in the guy's fish tank and watching the "pirahnas" snap at your finger and laughing
My dad got me a charm braclet....his way of trying to support my gayness....
I recorded his orgasm, set it as his ringtone, and called him while they were singing happy birthday to his mom. Yeah, revenge is sweet.
When i left he was drinking an entire pot of coffee out of the pot with a straw. It's safe to say he's using a personal day
Thanks for the Beyonce article. In other news, I just passed a man with the state of Florida tattooed on his face.
We found him sitting in the back of the club crying into a strippers lap. She told us he missed his pet frog and to come back later.
Congratulations! We have a period
How in the fuck did you get LIVE MOTHER FUCKING BATS!?!?! Into my ROOM last night????
Randomize
