well there was some sort of sex marathon going on in my house last night..jess and i vs my parents...and im ashamed to say that we lost and my parents out-sexed us
Remind me to tell you the Scottish bar story tomorrow
Remind me to tell you it was a shitty story when you're done telling it tomorrow
She challenged me to a game of rock-paper-scissors for her virginity. I love this girl.
we bribed her with croutons and jello shots.
There is a literally infinite number of spliffs going around this table.
Delicious
I feel like I'm at a sushi bar with a spliff belt.
omg just made cake vodka jello shots, sooooo excited
dear god these taste like death. death and sprinkles
We were apparently using marine hand signals to communicate to one another where to meet up in the house to hook up.
Didn't even know I knew marine hand signals.
I was thirsty after the sex and it was a long trek back to res so naturally I stole chocolate milk from his fridge as I left
He called my vagina "the man cave", and I found it charming
i can't even hate his new girlfriend cuz she survived a fucking brain tumor. like that's just not fair.
Just drink your champagne out of a trophy like a fuckin winner
When I got home he was in his underpants on the couch, eating pop tarts and crying while watching Voltron.
We are literally scheduling phone sex... if that's not long distance af then i don't know what is
my gynecologist gave me a high 5 for not getting any STD's since my last visit and said "Way to go Annabeth!" you have twenty seconds to get to my level
he went down on me WHILE i ate BACON PIZZA! best. boyfriend. ever.
Randomize
