Hello Stephanie, you need to come pick me up at Par Blvrd correctional facility and bring $750-$1000 for bail. I just got a DUI. Thank you.
What!?!?! How are you txting?!
Because this is Officer Reynolds, and I just arrested your boyfriend.
There was a pool of blood on my desk and we still don't know who it belongs to. missed a good party, man.
You coming out tonight? We gotta hang out before I move to Madison. BTW I'm moving to Madison.
The best part is when you puked in your slurpree and the 7 eleven guy still made you pay for it
we made it to hole 3 and then just sat down on the fairway and finished off our case....cheered on other golfers as we let them play through.
The cab driver doesn't know where we can find an empire state building shaped dildo either!? What is wrong with NYC!?
Oh, also as a concerning side note, my bra had drops of blood on it. So I don't know what the deal was, but someone I was around was definitely bleeding a decent amount.
I want the address of the individual responsible for strawbeeritas. I want to send them gift basket.
I only want to come over for sex and blueberry pancakes
The power of the half flaccid cock, and to think, I thought I was just playing accordion in front of her Vagina!
It has now been 10 days since we last saw Sebastians penis
i just want to die with dignity and clean teeth, is that too much to ask?
Went and sat in the wrong fucking class for 30 mins, answering questions and shit. What ever this is i will be on it for the rest of the semester.
and that's when you shouted "ahh motherland" as you streaked down hall 4B
Wow I really just sharted up in this Kroger
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