I took shrooms, thc and molly but its okay i'm surrounded by freaks
i met him on craigslist. and no i'm not a hooker.
Let's get naked and see who's stronger.
I'm in a strip club that reminds me of a crack house from the 80's.
life lesson# 3: saying thank you on a subway really means "im not a native new yorker, so please feel free to touch my ass"
hmm. interesting. explain how you came across this knowledge.
i sneezed. he said bless you. i said thank you. he groped. i again said thank you.
He asked if he could fuck me while on chat roulette.
Plus my stomach has been speaking through my ass all day sending notes saying "fuck you" and "this is from your liver" or "i will kill you."
So some sort of safe sex group just flash mobbed the bar by putting condoms over people's beers.
They left screaming as a hale of lubbed up condoms rained into their hair.
I asked you if you needed a ride and you kept saying "no, my name is katelyn"
Everybody shut up a minute, we need to discuss how much nicer the world would be if pants weren't a thing.
He made a toga out of my hot pink bed sheets and cracked an egg on his head. Then he proceeded to alphabetize our DVD collection, which was impressive because I'm 99% sure he couldn't have done that sober.
She moaned the name on my fake id during sex, that or she's cheating on me with someone named Victor
Our friendship just got weirder. He snapchated me the porn he was watching.
I know. I'm a saint. Saint of sitting on faces.
You told me that you couldn't come over because you felt like you were gonna die and that houses eat you when you die, and my house couldn't eat you because your house would be jealous. That's when I knew to take the bowl away from you.
Randomize
