Wait. When you mean sick you mean a cold sick right ? not something else.
my night went downhill once I lost my bikershorts. EAWSSSSYY ACCESS
Just witnessed a fat girl fall off the treadmill, pop a medicine ball, and drink coke out of a water bottle all in one workout.
We did lines off of a Whitney Houston CD case. That makes everything okay.
First booty call in Europe.. In Barcelona. With a German. In broad daylight.... Is that how they do it here?
Friends don't let friends drunk sleep in the dorm common room
i could've stared at her spine forever man..she was so deep, and she made a drink out of vodka and organic mangoo shit. i will find her and present that goddess with some fucking gummies
you're no longer allowed out of my sight at parties
Plus now I feel weird sleeping with you. It's like shooting a three legged deer. It's already at a disadvantage and couldn't get what it's full potential deserves.
He thought you were kidding about me peeing on my ex...and then I was like "that was one time"
A surplus of mistakes were made and I don't know what 89% of them were.
I just watched your sister pour half a bottle of cotton candy flavored snow cone syrup into a bottle of marshmallow flavored vodka, take a swig, frown, and pour a cherry coke in.
Just wait until she offers you a "powerita"
You know more about his cock specs than his childhood. Proud of you
Just in case you blacked out, we had sex, you came in me, we need plan B, we fell off your top bunk, broke your roommates chair, i still like you, but i'm in pain and am going to bed
When we found you, you were half crying/half singing Taylor swift songs at 2am in the bathroom, and occasionally puking. I think I get "friend of the year" award just for putting up with your drunk ass all night.
Protip if he licks the back of your knee and you reflexively kick him your game of 'lick the lady' is over.
Randomize
