some kid came into the principals office and tried to explain what he was sent there for through interpretive dance.
I decided to name her "day after thanksgiving" because I am sure I just got someone elses leftovers.
Whenever someone from high school gets pregnant or has a pregnancy scare my self esteem grows a good 5 points
Someone shat in the 1st floor west girls hall. Literally SHAT in the hallway
That's what she gets for taking his peeps.
dude, there's a fucking musical in my head. it's fucking awesome being this high.
You told him you were auditioning guys for your new show: "So You Think You Can Fuck."
Best pick-up line ever!
Wash that dress asap. You laid down on the kitchen floor and tried to sweep the floor with your body.
He said I went to go sit outside and is promised I wouldn't leave he brings me a chair and I'm gone. He found me stumbling a half mile away in my socks
so exactly what is concert sex etiquette? Before, during or after???
all of the above
Im going to be coked out with hello kitty fire arms. Valentines day can suck my dick
You need to get laid. You spent last night stumbling through the club pulling couples apart and telling them to leave room for Jesus.
Beyoncé wouldn't let anything bad happen here
this is the fourth time i've taken my clothes off for money this year. is that normal for the average college sophomore?
Bachelorette party buss just rolled into down town. DTF, "horny hotties inside" and "show us your dicks" written on the windows....this could get interesting.
Holy shit he’s stupid hot! If you don’t hurry up and make a move my ovaries are going to march over there and introduce themselves
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