Hilbilly word of the day is cedar, example....I knowed she ain\'t got no panties on cuz I cedar cooter.
Do you think this abandoned cigarette has herpes? cuz I'm tempted.
I just threw up and a whole piece of spaghetti came out of my nose. I don't even remember eating spaghetti.
hey bro how do you do that fake vagina thing with the tp roll? im bored.
Come 10 years my vagina won't look like this. I must cherish it
My mom just set up beer pong in the dining room for family game night. and you ask why I'm still living at home.
this is your 3rd pregnancy scare in 2 years, I think its time for you to re-evaluate the whole 'im a lesbian' thing
Miller High Life will be the death of me. Well, that and shower sex.
I made a blanket fort and am drinking Gatorade and eating donuts watching 500 days of summer. I can't keep spending my saturdays like this.
The crooked penis I maybe could have looked past...but no foreplay? Deal breaker.
My boobs are numb because I've been using them as stress balls
Bring me a cialis. .. I feel like having a super dick today
I'm really sorry I hooked up with your student on the dance floor..
I may have made out with your roommate and your cousin tonight. In my defense I thought both of them were your cousin.
It'd be good to change things up a bit, right now the only public service I'm doing from my apt is hanging out in my underwear with the lights on.
Randomize
