Plan B is the new Plan A
i have i love cock written on my hand and a vagina drawn on my arm and i just finished eating breakfast with the whole fam for mothers day
ahah at least you got away with it
nope...my gran was the one who informed me
I have a dream, to one day wake up next to a girl, walk to the washroom and kick her kids toys out of the way. That day has come, yes we can.
I really love her but I don't think I can go the rest of my life without anal.
And then she started grabbing onto random guys legs, asking their names, and if they wanted to be friends... Haha, I love when the girls my ex's are dating are total drunken whores.
my phone cant type all the emotion im having
He gave me a 420 gift that consisted of a dime bag, a philly cheesestake, and a Pepsi that was still cold. If he ever wants a free bj, I got him.
I knew I was in the wrong bar when "I have a daughter your age" was some random's pick up line.
like when he blacked out and we found him in the garden eating your tomatoes off the vine
I'm hungover as fuck. My vagina hurts. I locked my keys in my car. It's about 93* outside. We're having sex in the pool when I get home
Chick last night said she only gets off if she rubs her childhood blanket her parents gave her during sex
sounds like it. if it makes you feel better i blew up a $75000 farm tractor last night.
My boyfriend just asked what time I was coming over. As soon as my old BF unchains me. I think he ran away.
On a side note. I slept with a stuffed giraffe last night. Found it in my bed when I came home and snuggled with it. Drunk me reverted to being 2
one week and then i'm back on the sexual grind. a party is being planned in my vagina's honor
Randomize
