5 years of college and never once did they teach us how to respond when you overhear a group of 7th grade boys who are in your class talking about how you're definitely DTF
children are so perceptive these days... and horny
i just hope all the shady shit stops so i can let him into my pants
How do I say "sorry I gave you and your sister herpes" in German?
So this snow storm is NOT helpin my masturbation problem
I walked out of the bedroom naked holding a used condom only to be greeted by half of my family. Happy birthday mom
he looks SO much like Drake, I feel like an extreme groupie every time we have sex.
Can we talk about how i am holding a tupperware container of my own puke in the back of my grandparents car while my sister drives
So, settle a debate for my housemates. Have you measured your dick. And how long. Results Will not be disclosed
He ran into the surf holding up a cigarette yelling "let the Olympic games begin!" So no, no vodka left.
she's the poster child for how alcoholism can be fun.
I'm so drunk. Remember me this way.
You came in last night, ate an entire avocado in silence, and then told me I should never accept rides from strangers. Not sure I even want to know what happened to you last night!
I don't think I used nearly enough fucks in my reply to convey the level of fuck him.
The best thing about last night is when drunk Lauren asked cop if she could smoke a joint in front of him. And next thing I remember she’s smoking weed with a cop. How awesome is that.
I’m really upset they canceled the conference. Since the divorce I’ve been working out, I bought cute new outfits and even found a bikini I liked. Now it’s all online. You can’t get laid at a webinar
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