do you remember what downloading porn with a 14k modem was like?
On a scale of affliction to ed hardy, how douchy is in there right now?
Ryan Howard.... the only guy who struck out more than me this weekend
5 Four Lokos being cheaper than a case should be illegal.
I felt like a fire hydrant the vomit just kept coming out
i don't even specifically remember last night, it's just one big wonderful lesbianic blur.
I just couldn't help myself when there was a FOUNTAIN OF SHOTS
On celebration of the Supreme Court ruling I feel it is our patriotic duty to have a threesome
I traded him cumming in my face for a year for a Disney annual pass. One giant leap back for feminism, one small step for the adult child Disney fan.
I had tater tots and weed with a stripper at 4am who compared the size of my boob to her head because fuck you my life rocks
It's official: I now only own one pair of jeans that I haven't blown the crotch out of. It might be time to put a stop to red wine Wednesdays.
You mean, in addition to red wine every-fucking-days?
I touched a dick in church today
I probably would do him if given the chance but how awkward would Bible study be after that.
Success! We fucked roommates!
You should probably come home from vacation now. I make badddd decisions when you're gone.
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