11:03 p.m. Whats a lie i you lovn me. Let's cuddle.
she gave me a disgusted look and asked how i could live with myself. because i havent seen the rocky horror picture show. and then dumped me.
just took my abortion antibiotic with my martini. i no longer wonder how i got into this situation.
spring break forecast: sunny with a chance of shitshow
Using manwich sauce as ketchup. Not bad. Love college.
i just went to use the bathroom this morning and I couldn't because there was someone puking in every stall. i'm going to miss the dorms this summer
Woke up this morning with seven juice boxes under my pillow and an empty box of condoms In my pocket. Good night.
Just thought you should know I'm having a reunion tour of Athens this weekend. Minus the weird guy I was fucking last time.
I don't think that calm, have their shit together people actually exist.
My mom has had 5 shots of fireball today and she's still functioning normally... She's just extra polite.
FUCK and YOU. times 10. To infinity and beyond. You bastard. Worst. Cockblock. Ever. I'm going to nail your sister.
My stuff that was at your place last night smells like doughnuts. I'm not even mad.
dude you pointed at my dad's crotch and said I'd tap that. I didn't even know you were gay.
just woke up with nickles taped to my body. theres like a dollar worth.
I probably should have told her I was actually the drunkest one there before she let me pierce her ear
Randomize
